I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
