Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It's Friday. Sex?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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