dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
