Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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