it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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