Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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