I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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