i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
