He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
