Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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