The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
