i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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