Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
