On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
