I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
