I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We need to get me chipped asap
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
