How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
