She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
splinters make it hard to masturbate
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
