I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
worst night to have a conscience
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Randomize
