your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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