I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
