my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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