We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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