So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
