He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
