do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drunk is not a location!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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