hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
