Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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