The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
