Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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