I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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