i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
