No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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