I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
