we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
