Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
