We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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