we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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