are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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