i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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