I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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