The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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