Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
