I don't remember. Are we still dating?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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