The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
