I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
