do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
