You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
