I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
