oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
